“How would you move through the world differently if you knew you were easy to love?” - Trauma Therapist Morgan Pommels (in a recent post on Instagram sharing things she recently has said during therapy sessions)
I do believe one of the main reasons we seem more tuned in to that which does not love us is because the brain is automatically seeking out negative stimuli and potential threats, so that we can learn to avoid them. Inadvertently, we become hyper-aware of the negative feelings and the reasons why we feel unseen and unloveable, and it takes a significant effort on our part to see beyond the threats and see that we are surrounded by people and things which value us and make us valuable. It is hard because it goes against what are brains are naturally inclined to do. Perspective takes work, but it is worth it when it elates your being and brings you a sense of self-worth.
I hope this makes sense and I haven't just embarrassed myself!
I love this point; we often view our patterns as negative when they are just products of our need for survival. Especially for those of us who are trauma survivors, the ability to find potential "threats" gives us a sense that we have some control over our safety. I looked outside of myself so that I could at least know how I would be judged, hoping that the impact would be less when it happened in real life. I remember for so long believing that if I beat myself up enough, no one else's words could hurt me. So much of our healing is reprogramming how our bodies were built at times of stress and the need for protection and learning what it feels like when we don't look outside of ourself for things like safety, worth and love.
So much truth and honesty in this!
I do believe one of the main reasons we seem more tuned in to that which does not love us is because the brain is automatically seeking out negative stimuli and potential threats, so that we can learn to avoid them. Inadvertently, we become hyper-aware of the negative feelings and the reasons why we feel unseen and unloveable, and it takes a significant effort on our part to see beyond the threats and see that we are surrounded by people and things which value us and make us valuable. It is hard because it goes against what are brains are naturally inclined to do. Perspective takes work, but it is worth it when it elates your being and brings you a sense of self-worth.
I hope this makes sense and I haven't just embarrassed myself!
I love this point; we often view our patterns as negative when they are just products of our need for survival. Especially for those of us who are trauma survivors, the ability to find potential "threats" gives us a sense that we have some control over our safety. I looked outside of myself so that I could at least know how I would be judged, hoping that the impact would be less when it happened in real life. I remember for so long believing that if I beat myself up enough, no one else's words could hurt me. So much of our healing is reprogramming how our bodies were built at times of stress and the need for protection and learning what it feels like when we don't look outside of ourself for things like safety, worth and love.